Mental Preperations 

So! One of the things his parents (mum) emphasised on was the marriage preperation course. 

You can find a list of Muslim marriage prep courses on ROMM’s website. But i saw the topics, read reviews and got feedback from friends that it didn’t really teach them much. There were important topics being discussed but not as in depth. Out of all, a friend of mine recommended the art of marriage – more interaction. 

So after much sourcing, I found a fiqh (Islamic ruling) class at Darul Arqam. Module 1 was good for basics or a refresher class. But module 2 was the one I was more interested in. 

It covers marriage in an Islamic context. If you’re interested, you can register! I like going for classes there because.. you know.. modern malay.. melayu hancur. So it really helps that their classes are in English and interactive. Alot of youngsters there, and not just future/newly converts. Even born Muslims (/reverts) like me!

Oh, a friend of mine is also attending marriage prep course, one on one, and she sent me the pdf copy of her resources. She’s doing it at her church so she redacted the bible quotes for me. Thoughtful la, my friend. I read through it and I don’t think it’s offensive or “blasphemous” or anything just cause it’s from a Christian prep class. It’s all very logical and psychological. 

They have many tests that you have to do together, like the 5 love languages, to identify the type of person you and you partner are, the different ways you communicate and so on. Basically a lot of self-reflective material which I think will really help to understand the other person. Bonus points for when youre gonna be spending the rest of your lives together! They also touch on financial arrangements and household chore duties after marriage haha! 

Oh, the boyfriend’s sister sent him this. Very informative. Enjoy! 

Diari tok kadi (ustaz zahid zain) 070916

6 things we got to take note before marriage

❤ DATE

– in islam there no auspicious date. But in sunnah marry on the month of aildilfitri (calendar islam) 

-must take note ; isit a holiday period, month of eid, isit everyone still doing their visiting 

You have to find a date kawin that everyone can make it, but we know not all can make it. 

 **nikah is wajib, walimah is sunnah**

Dalam hadith rasulluh SAW “walimah lah kamu walaupun dgn seekor kambing”

-why choose that date?

-And set your timing nikah 

❤Read the rules in ROMM .

-You can only book your date 150 days through in the system . But if u know the ustaz himself u can ask the ustaz to block for you, but u still have to go through the system. 

-Consent of marriage is not from wali but from the bride. In islam force of marriage is totally not permissible. 

*_Even your wali example your dad tak jaga you, you dont know where his well being, still ada ke tak dalam dunya, give time limit atleast 3 month to register your nikah Declare to ROMM lets ROMM do their job finding your wali. _* 

**Bride/pegantin pmpn; jangan main2 dengan bila ustaz datang tanye are you consent of this marriage dont u reply “hmmmm hmmmmm setuju kot” kalau tok kadi tk jalan da bagus. Dont make your akad nikah like a joke, **DO KNOW THE RESPONSIBILITY OF ONCE YOUR AKAD HAS SAH, RESPONSIBILITY OF YOU AS WIFE**

-ijab dan qabul (the day of your event akad nikah)

Give 30 minutes for kadi to setup and that 30 minutes listen to the khutbah and akad nikah.

1 lafaz ke 2 lafaz ke 3 lafaz ke tak ada masalah. Inshaallah dgn 1 lafaz .☺✌🏻 

**bridesmaids / best man your job is to assist to the pegantin pmpn or the pegantin family but not too giggle/tangkap jambu/selfie bila kadi tgh khutbah  give masa 15-30minutes serious, utk dgr khutbah nikah ** 

**pegantin lelaki, dont you go n busy smoking or doing other things like talk to ur members when u kadi have arrived,  respect your kadi, do some selawat or make a doa before the akad nikah because after the akad nikah you are gg to be responsible of your wife sins, segala dosa isteri akan download ke suami..tahu tanggunjawab sebagai suami**!

**Marriage Is an endless discovery for both, that when you both (husb and wife) need to learn. **

Marriage course, please go not just one but 2 or 3, you can gain knowledge at different places.

Before going ROMM, know your rukun2 solat, rukun2 iman, siap kan diri untuk ROMM.

❤Saksi

One from the bride and one from the groom side.

Ambik orang tua untuk menjadi saksi

Find someone who is soleh and know on religion, yang tk buat dosa besar selama setahun. 

“if your bestman want to be saksi , they can be your bestman on your wedding , but they cant be the best man for your solemnisation. ”

❤ Venue

Get a venue (if you want a good majlis for your nikah you have to recce your venue.. How you want your pelamin , your guest can see the pegantin? Isit convienant for your guest to park their car? Is there any carpark? Easy access for wheelchair guest? ) Take note : Tok kadi is the most important of your akad nikah , takda tok kadi tk jalan lah majlis balik gigit bantal… 😂 example lagun sari carpark is always occupied get someone from your side bride or groom side to jaga tok kadi car in case the TP come to saman, so that someone can actually move tok kadi car.😂😋

❤ kad jemputan 

Yes we understand we nowdays nk jadi hipster. Hipster sampai card wedding pun nk hipster. Take note; jgn sampai memalukan ahli keluarga, dont put unnecassary pictures (pre wedding photo on your cards to give out to guest) jaga nama baik keluarga. And tolong jgn kecik kan font or cursive sangat sampai makcik pakcik tk nampak venue address kat mana.jangan sampai tkleh baca✌🏻

❤Marriage plan.

**Religion**

-learn your religion even is a small steps especially man because you are gg to lead your family 

-you cannot put hope on your parents or family or others (ustaz ke members ) to thought your marriage. 

❤photography/photographers

If you do in a mosque get modesty photography even its is a woman . Even if you do void decks or anyway still the lady photographer have to dress appropriate, jgn sampai ustaz (tok kadi tegor nampak tabung amal) ✌🏻  

*you plan your wedding and do plan your marriage, hold each other hand to to paradise. (Pimpin tangan masing2 ke syurga) *

*_you cannot expect perfect things on your wedding day, cause perfect is from Allah cause perfect is only belong to him, kita berbalik semua pada Allah._* 

Bitaufiq wannajah, semoga bermanfaat utk bakal pegantin semoga Allah mudahkan urusan kalian, semoga majlis dimudahkan dan diberi rumah tangga mawwaddah sakinah rahmah. Amin.

Salah dan silap dari saya sendiri. ✌🏻❤

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